I will be 51 in a few weeks and my daughter just turned 8, so Maths yielding, I was pregnant at 42. This is a possibility a bit out of the norm but not so uncommon. Whether it be by accident or because you wanted to give yourself the chance of having a girl/boy after having only boys/girls, pregnancy after 40 has its perks. I can't talk about its downside because -eight years down the line- I am still delighted with how it turned out.
Every time I look at my baby girl (she will always be that, I suppose) or I get a female comment from her 'oh, so womanly' brain, I thank Life for such a precious gift. In my case, I thank God, but you can call it whatever you prefer: the Universe, Life, or else...
So, have you thought about having a child at 40? That's when I thought: "It's now or never".
I'll share my story in case you need a reference. I went to my GP at 40 and asked for blood tests to check my general health. Apart from listening to my heartbeat and measuring my blood pressure, I wanted to check the iron and cholesterol levels. These were the indicators I grew up relating to good health.
I explained to my doctor that I was considering falling pregnant at 40, so I wanted to check my general health first. Once the results came in, the doctor gave me the green light to proceed to the next visit: the gynaecologist.
I went to the doctor who was doing my yearly smear test and breast check. He said my body was ready for a baby and that I could go for it. IUD removed and it was just a matter of counting the days after the next period.
Eventually, the pregnancy came. We were over the moon. A few weeks into the pregnancy and bleeding started, so I thought "This is it". It wasn't meant to be. My husband and I remained cool about the whole process. After all, we were already a family of four, with two lovely boys growing healthy and strong.
But this was a tough cookie. The pregnancy continued. Once the bleeding stopped, the heartbeat was present and strong. The obstetrician recommended to continue life as normal, since, he said: "what's meant to be will be". He wasn't very enthusiastic about me being pregnant at such a "risky" age.
And it was meant to be. The delivery date came and I was so ready. I had refused screening tests, as I suffered uncertainty with the first two pregnancies, only to deliver perfectly healthy babies. I was willing to welcome a baby with any challenging condition into our family. And she came to us with a 10/10 score on that test they do on newborns.
A 50-year-old mother of a primary school child
Yes, I am a 50 something-year-old mother of a second grader. And I am NOT the only one. I was so pleased to see another middle-aged mother of my daughter's classmate who had a son 18 years after her eldest. Good on them.
I am closer in age to most of the grandmothers of my daughter's classmates. And I am OK with that. My daughter loves me and she's never complained about having an older mum or a 10 year older brother.
Her older brothers adore her and she adores them. Having a baby after 40 is an experience I can fully recommend. I am more tired than I was in my 30s, when I had my sons, but I am so much more relaxed now, that I think it compensates.
What do you think? Would you have a baby at 40?
